“She Walks like Rihanna”: 3 Essential Tips on How to Be More Secure with Who and What You Are

(Not Giving a Fuh)!

Refine your Edges

It’s important to feel as good on the inside as you love to look on the outside.

Through the elements of nature and the storms that we weather as humans, we can all use a little polishing from time to time. Some of us appear to be more “rough around the edges” than others. It’s all good. But keep in mind that when “polishing”, overdoing it might just take away your pizazz!

Love your jagged bits – they can add an appealing flair to your personality, and someone will adore you for having them. This can be in the form of embracing all the good and not-so-good things which make you different, as these things are unique in you. This may also help you cope with that feeling of being slighted when anyone attempts to take a dig at you, using your shortcomings or flaws (jagged bits) against you.

Embrace even your insecurities. Insecurities are uncomfortable feelings that force us to look at ourselves, and examine the negative emotions we feel (like envy and jealousy). Our anxieties motivate us to do, be, and strive for something better. The thing is, most people don’t realise that being insecure is actually motivational, and instead they act out of spite.

Every day is a new day, to start anew. Find confidence in yourself — fight for yourself, be true to yourself, and most importantly love yourself — dare to be different, and if you really desire to, then re-invent yourself.

Clean your Circle

Genuine happiness, true friends, and a strong support system make you truly rich — not money! Life is full of peaks and valleys and when we have good people in our lives it helps us get through those valleys — the tough times. And when you’re at the top of the peaks — success will not be lonely as some say it is, when you have the right people to share your happiness.

However, there will come a time when we may need to clean our circle of friends. When you’re surrounded by genuine people who love you for what you are and want the best for you, you will not have to feel bad, apologise, or water yourself down to make those around you feel comfortable with themselves. Be ok with cutting off and keeping your distance from toxic, insincere, opportunistic, and petty people — friends, family or not. If you can help them build their self-esteem and encourage them to see their worth — that’s great, you may not have to clean your circle.

Remember this: despite your good intentions, some people may take you for granted — but, the key to having good friends is to be a good friend first!

Know and Love Thyself

To know yourself requires soul searching — allowing yourself to feel, asking yourself questions in order to find, and be in tune with who you are, your path and your mission. This may even include letting go of others and relinquishing ideologies that do not serve you, your path or your mission.

Before you can master any of the aforementioned — you have to see and know your worth. By doing this, you will almost automatically step into the act of respecting and loving yourself, first.

Connect with your inner self — while alone — focus on self-development, and work to become the best version of yourself. Alone time makes many uncomfortable, because it forces them to face things that they may not be ready to face. So, they get involved with anythingthat serves them as a “distraction” — people, places or activities. However, you must take some time out for yourself — to get to know who you are, so that you do not waste your time, energy or effort on things or people who do not serve you in any helpful way.

Also, get to know what you will and will not stand for. As Malcolm X said, “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything”. Be sure to reflect on the things that you do and do not like. You are a uniquely created individual. You will have your own taste, style, and perspectives — if needed, refine it — and other than that, OWN it! Running from yourself or conforming to things that stifle you will only be a disservice to you and your growth in the long run.


**Originally posted between year 2013-2016 [date to be confirmed].

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