Windows down, volume booming, cruising through the streets, singing off-key:
♪What about your friends, will they stand their ground, will they let you down♫...
What a coincidental [radio] #ThrowbackTuesday TLC track to inspire the writing of this post!
BADDGirlRe has always emphasised the importance of being a good friend to be able to have good friends. However, I have discovered that being a good friend is not always so simple. Although we may actually be good friends to others, it is my belief that we all will inevitably attract lessons and tests into our lives. Lessons and tests here refer to people who will challenge us to grow into our higher [best] selves by helping us raise ourselves to the level of achieving self-awareness and self-love.
Study your lessons and pass your tests by realising the true friends you do have and swerve on any shifty friends you may have. Okay? Self-care and self-preservation will always benefit you in life.
Tell lies to you,
Rarely offer you help/support,
Always have their palms outstretched,
Talk/gossip behind your back,
Seem flaky, disingenuous and two-faced,
Are coldly and hurtfully honest or dishonest,
Disclose what you've told them in confidence,
Make sly insulting remarks passed off as jokes,
Are your friend only if you are close to certain other people,
[Their] relationship with you is not one based on reciprocity,
Are only around during their times of difficulty and hardship,
Turn others against you when not seeing eye-to-eye with you,
Offer token help during your hard times only to exploit your weakness,
[Their] responses are always oddly short in comparison to your detailed message[s],
Always have excuses to why they ignored your text messages or emails [i.e., I'm so busy; oh I forgot; I haven't gotten around to putting your number in my phonebook, among others],
Demand a lot of sacrifices from you but are unwilling to make any themselves,
[Their] support for you seems non-existent and/or behind the scenes [never publicly expressed],
Either don't acknowledge or congratulate you on any of your accomplishments or downplay them.
True friends are quite the opposite [and are not to be confused with acquaintances].
You will feel and simply just know when something or someone is genuine or not.
If your intuition is pricking you and you feel that your friendship is one-sided, it probably is. Shift gears on those shifty frenemies and accept that such ‘friendships’ have run their course. Now, take the high road, lose them in your rear view mirror and let them choke on your smoke as you cruise down your own lane, in style.
Sass and all [finga snap]
**Originally published 2016 May 26